no more guilt.

i only slept for four hours. it is amazing. when i woke up. it's like i am feeling fucking fresh. stretch here and there then to work. amazing. but i know i need sleep i need sleep. it's like my body clock stated.. sleep 430am wake up 830am. what the fcuk. and tmr i got to do full shift. i am so tired. my back is killing me.

and today i always wake up 830am sharp i donno why. i am like that punctual. oh yea. today.. shafiqa my youngest sister disturbed by pulling down my shirt and then she always stare so close at my face. wtf seh. then just now. i smacked her real hard and screamed. hahaaha. and it's shocking that she didnt cry. ahaha. she is a crybaby mania. haiya. well, yeah. i think she love my face very much grrr.....

and i met sery just now to eat. hehehe. so cute.
and i miss su. he had so much fun at escape till he lost his voice. hahaha

love you ass

suhai sexy

geez.. i thought my pay come out already. sucks man. =( kesian su. i feel black. =(

i love having you for the day sexy. love you

pray hard i could go shopping tmr. hehehe. alot of things to get.

xoxo

and i watched night at the museum. well, it's was super funny. lame i suppose. give it 3.5 stars. eeheh.

bye

dreams

lately been having weird dreams.. involving moon. sun. dog. well, ntg better to do. i google it. eheh

moon

The Moon is an interesting symbol that signifies feminine energy; it is associated with the irrational and the intuitive. The Moon affects the ocean tides, and it has been linked to madness. As a dream symbol is can represent all of these things and more. As always, pay attention to the details in the dream before making conclusions. The moon could represent romance and our earthly impulses and passions. It could reveal things about the nature of soul and the unconscious. The Moon can also reflect inner peace and feelings of serenity and security.

sun

The sun sustains all life on Earth. When you see it in your dreams, it suggests that you are being nurtured and sustained by your environment and your life choices. It could also represent a spiritual force or the light of God. Sunrise may indicate new beginnings and a new wave of energy while sunsets suggest a period of closure and completion. Sunlight in your dreams is never a negative symbol. Light always symbolises or indicates consciousness and may signify masculine energy. Its presence, even in the most disturbing dreams, has reassuring qualities. Old dream interpretation books say that sun shining on you is an omen of good fortune and good will.

dog

Dogs in dreams could symbolise a large variety of ideas and concepts, but mostly they are symbolic of the dreamer's defensive structure and may represent personal boundary issues. Carefully consider all of the details and the mood in your dream. First, if you have a dog, it may be natural to dream about him. We become emotionally attached to our dogs and we dream about them just as we dream about anything else that is important to us. Otherwise, dogs could symbolize loyalty and hard work. If someone calls you a dog, it is a negative reflection on your personality. If you are being treated like a dog, you are most likely being abused in some way. On the metaphysical level, dogs are considered to be the guardians of the underworld. Finally, dogs could represent the more basic or "animal" parts of our nature and some think that they specifically represent male energy.

positive man. (= yes. i am dammit hardworking. and someone is truly guiding me. i made mistake. said to be patient with life and everything will go smoothly.

---------

just now was super enthusiastic to meet suhai. but he was feeling low. =( hais.. then i walked to National Library. read borrowed. i don't wanna go home yet. called huda but =( then called faizul. yay. so i walked to paragon. hahaha. seow uh. ya pompuan gile. we talked alot. lepak. when he was working. i was tawafing paragon. haha. go in guess kid shop. haha. sial la.. expensive or what. =( yea. whatever. he sent me home. and i fucking miss suhai. =( love you

son-in-law

the talking with my dad happened last monday when su sent me home. (= i went up. and just now then got to know what they talking about. haha. love you su

tmr gonna meet him. thurs too. (=

hey love.. hugs. i know you love mandy. kesian die. hais.

xoxo

reading

wow.. i am starting to love reading all over again.

i love su. you look hot dashing. you uh no shame kiss me. hahs. so funny. i said that i bought the bag coz the print looks like my mum. haha. and so we were kissing haha.. broad daylight. we are so on PDA. and then he said eh, you no shame uh kissing in front of your mother? hahaha.. funny hor.

hmm.. i want to read uh.. twilight and new moon. who is kind enough to lend it to me?

hehe

well, who do you wanna be with? a guy which is well built stable in life? old enough to be you father. older wiser they said? hmm.. generous kind humourous all the good points? or just someone that you are to be with?

well if me.. i want it all. and glad su have it.. hahahahah no shame

bye

furious

today i donno why i am bloody angry with who what what? i donno. serious angry. never talk with anywho except for customers that i want to serve. haha. whatever it is. hmm..

oh well, meeting su tmr for lunch. :D it's our 19th mth. ohkay. no big deal. hahs. so happy to have huggable boyfriend. hehe

love you love.

flightless bird

i masturah fucking love suhairi. miss you

sicky sucky

wah. i really felt terrible last night. seriously. i wore jacket coz fee advised me to wear. hahas. and today when i woke up i was abit sweaty and no fever. (=

and straight away went to Toa Payoh Polyclinic. waved a cab. and the taxi driver super funny la. coz he donno where is the place. and i also donno sia. then i just told him near KIM KEAT. coz sery's house mah. then he said oh the temple uh. hahas. oh ok. i remember now. haha. funny la can.

and i bought bread and milk. the aunty very caring uh. yesterday cheers guy also very caring. hehe. biasa la everyday buy pink dolphin at cheers.

while i was waiting for my turned. i nearly wanna cry. the pain was super unbearable. where is su? very sad uh. then the doc checkin me and all. i talked to her like almost in tears uh. haha. i so emotional. i hate to be sick.

yala. now at home. hais. so bored.

miss su

radiant

i am bloody happy. i kept complaining of how hungry i was to su.. and ard the midnight he came. just now with roti prata bomb, cheese and egg. i am bloody happy.

i love you love

big hug

i was damn sleepy but now i just can't sleep. too much sugar.

i have an awesome boyfriend that is suhairi mansor. (=

hungry monster

what's up with the monster anyway? annoying

well, i am fucking hungry now. seriously. urgh. i have no money. should have use nets yesterday. i am so fed up now. coz i am bloody hungry. urgh. feel so dammit now. ahhas. da la mas. kau gila.

oh and i really wanted to go overseas man. =( i wanna go genting. =(
anybody wanna join?

sad monster

can't go out today

su got a case of ngantokness. so sad la him. hug

xx

angry monster

today suppose to go library. but su haven't wake up yet. so angry so angry. and he also switched off his HP. i don't wanna call his hse. but i think i am gg later. haha. angry also can laugh.

bleahs.

pet societying

WAHHH

i did it i am so happy. my wardrobe is neatly packed and folded. hehe. =D achievement. and later got to see the boy. and tomorrow gonna go library. hehe.

xoxo

lonely house

my siblings is not home yet.
my mum usual sleeping.
the last thing that i heard was my father screaming coz my shafiqa was being annoying. then i thought i kept kicking my dad and scratch my V. hahas. gatal.
well, suddenly i miss the kecohness at home. i miss miss miss. it's not the same now. the house is so quiet. too quiet in fact. hmm.. i miss su too. i miss my frens. i have never been out with them like 2-3 months already. sad right. very sad la.

is this how you feel to be the only child at home?
and parents are always busy.
well, your life just sucks seh. so sad.
i can't help if i am the housewife
and wondering how will i look like in 10years time?
fat fugly haha
my mum is gg out

I FEEL SO ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

overseas

yesterday a customer said that i looked like philippines. then i said i don't talk like them. and she said just look. then the husband said i am a malay. better say indonesian mah. haiya.. for goodness sake. i am MALAY. the way i speak. i don't slang. even better mix blood with hmm. caucasion? no i donno?? haiya. i wish i am mix blood. i have big nose. i am malay/a bit javanese. hahahahaha.

bugis sharp small nose
boyanase big nose curly hair
javanese big nose tanned skin
malay sharp nose

from what i observe

and fun eh if u are an air stewardess. can wear fancy fancy stuffs. i never say cnnt wear in sg. but if sg like..so not fun.

k la. today post seme nye bynk berangan uh. hahs

miss su =(

passion

oh. i searched about make up course. hahs. coz i am really interested in it. it's like you know art. i love colours. i have really wanted to be makeup artist thingy, photographer or at least model. but the only issue is bloody money. i have been in model interviewed. hahahahas. only su knew this. hahas. i got it. but money =( and acting audition. that was sucky. coz i was only a child when my aunt brought me to the audition. hahas. stoopid.

well i guess i don't wanna take 'o' levels. ahah. i donno la. go with the flow la. haiye.

bleahs.
i want suhairi

i don't feel pampered.
i want gifts. hahahas

schedule clash

we will work it out.

& oh, su gonna send me to work. at last. haha..

anyway, oh man.. YBD now have a spree bout oxford shoe. and i fuckin love itt.. but too bad i don't have enough money. =( why must they do it at the end of the month man? 1st week kan bgs. haha. ade duit.

anyway, cannot wait to get my pay so i could go out with my close frens. xoxo

easy?

do i look innocent/kind & caring? ahahas. it is shiying's specs. hahs. so cute today.

anw, i was just thinking. it is better to do things on your own than together with someone that is totally different from you. no. nothing to do with me. but just saying you know. (=

i only have 3 close fren. and i am gonna treasure them. simpan dlm ice box. haha.

someone made me upset and mad just now. is it that hard to tell me what are you doing? i hate waiting. i hate hate hate waiting and look at my hp with no new message. haiya. it happened alot of time. just so you know.

i love you su.

monday monday monday monday come faster

spider house

i am fucking addicted to that book. i cannot wait for the ending. have to fast fast read. and that book.. there are alot of big big words. i donno =( i feel so stupid. ahaha.

anw, yesterday i was in morning shift. but i donno why i just got to take half day leave. coz i was damn tired uh can. i went shopping for awhile got sth i really like. and i think next mth i wanna go there again. haha.. crazzyy shoppaholic.

and ard 7pm i met su. (= watched the international at kallang wah lao.. the critic at yahoo movies gave it 3/5 but i would have to say 2/5 seriously seh. coz the ending was super crappy and lame can? themovie is super long winded and it's like not gonna end like that. like wth right. ahha. wasted my money. damnn.

now i cant wait to watch angels & demons. hehehe.
oh su kwn kwn sstar trek gerek la. aha

after lepaking somewhere kallang that was infested by mosquitos. even my lips they suck it. =( now i have a swollen lips and 50/50 wanna go work or not. should i? =( i working at 6pm. but later kena black listed if i never go =( hahas i will take leave of coz.

we ate at JIHAHA coz super damn hungry. suhai ride damn bloody fast la. so scary at the expressway. i am not a speed fan. though i love the thrill of rollercoaster and bungy jumping. hehe. when we reached amk i said wah.. u so fast. and he said. ya. very hungry. hahah.

now i am still thinkin whether to go work ornot. =(

love you su.
love sleeping with you

suhairi

i wish i am suhairi. guy in general.
coz i could lepak till mlm with friends.
coz i have a bike can go riding with frens.
coz i don't care how i look but still care.
coz i can eat alot.
coz i could be alot more funnier.
coz i will be sexy.
coz i could go berzanji.
coz i no need to have undergo PMS to mensus.
coz i will be happy always.
coz yeah.

i wanna be suhairi. hahah

library

i loove his spark =)

i accompanied su to chinatown point coz he donno where is it. hahs. ya. i am his street directory but sometimes gave him wrong direction. rmbr love? haha. and he hates the jacket i bought it for him. so far i think that's is the only think he hate. hahah. irritating kept saying about it. coz obviously i was the stubborn one and bought that to him coz his current sweater color fading. k nvrm. it was fun today. (=

there was drama in the office just now while waiting for su. hmm.. the lady that suppose to interview her took a half leave and somehow she got someone else to entertain the lady. and she said to the lady that she got 3cases on her car. and she fumed up. she is such a bitch. and su said to me that she looked at me. wth. i was reading all the way. and i nvr see her face at all. maybe she is trying to get my attention that was why she tsk her and there.. bloody bitch. ahahs.

we went to centrepoint after that. coz i got to give the bloody four perfume i bought. psychotic perfume seller. seriously. i want a transfer. hahas. but bloody cheap lor. eheh.. i think the abg love me uh. ahhas. -_- imagine uh 4bottles for $50. i now have alot of perfumes at home and suhairi said maybe i could open a perfume shop one day. haha. anyway, it is escada moon sparkle. and it smell so nice uh. better than gucci envy. haha. haiyo. stupid and zura kept saying eh kering da dtg. haha. sial.. i am not that slim la hor. haiya. and funny. everyone at coldwear got to know that i am gg to quit. i thought it is only suntec buisness. haha. yea whatever. i am not gonna quit. yea. boss psycho-ed me.

then off to library. and read and laughed. and borrowed books. hehe. i loove.

kiss and hugs.

i love you my man.

hope you msg me sooooooooooon

rock on baby

well, i listened a few of green day songs at youtube. hmm.. i am not really a fan of green day serious.song.. time of a blah blah blah.. also hmm.. yea. i am not a fan. but i just like the pictures of the girl and the boy kiss eh. remind me of my chemical romance. me and gerard. hahaha. i thought of buying the album to su. coz he was excited but i guess not. hahas. i got other stuffs in my mind. hehe.

so lets talk about Saturday. (=
shiying cannot meet me. she liar. hahs. then su got to rush to meet me. but actually i was on my way home already. hahs. so, when he reached my house. i am so readily to go out. but wht. the gate is lock. and i couldn't find the keys. coz my mum, brought the keys with her. i was fuckingly angry with my brother. seriously stupid. then my parents got to U turn just for me. haha.

i was shocked to see su was in his singlet and sweater. =O haha. so what to do.. from vivo to toa poyoh to amk. but we went to Bishan J8 instead. hehe. and was shocked =O haha.. coz there were only 2shows. xmen and star trek. haha. so we watched star trek. the movie is all so witty. i love it. (= but maybe i have no expectation to that movie? but it's all right. action, funny, wah. romance. hehe. JIm is such a flirt. i love spark.

before the movie start. we ate at S11. western. SU was 50/50 to smoke coz no one were smoking. but he still smoked. and this STUPID STUPID STUPID ANNOYING BITCH kept looking at us. like WTF we could smoke on our table SUCKA. i felt so angry at that time. but Su said uh.. nevermind uh them. i feel like taking the ashtray and threw all the butts on her hair. haha. bloody hell. uh.. i am so drama. haha.

xoxo

su sus su sus di mana engkau sekarang? hmph

mummy

anyways,

just now while i was walking then this girl called out. MUMMY!! MUMMY! and came running towards me. and i was like what? i looked behind and opposite me. no people that is suitable to be a mummy. haha. and i was like eh? and the ladies called her.. that one not your mummy la. and this girl looked at me. i looked at her with blank look. and hmm.. i laugh..walked faster. haha. first time sia. haha. so funny. but hmm.. that child donno how the mother look like ke? =(

xoxo

love hurts

restlest

suppose to meet kambing but he ditched me. he overslept. haha. and so i accompany sy eat at Fish&CO. hahah.. damn fulll .quite sedap. it's our first over there. hehe

& i hope su go out with me later.

love you

baby

i guess know one knows me best. haha. they took my quiz. how well do you know me. and kesian sia. hahaha.. then i also test su lor. he didn't get 100% right. but at least he got the dresses and skirts right hehe.. everyone want to feel nice. so, i love dress. and only shi ying got the watson correct. ahah. and someone forgot my bdae =( hhaha.. kesian seh. and my su said k la u test me again. haha. k la su. study hard la hor. take notes in the library find book about memoirs of mas. heheh.

anws,
shopping online is really upsetting me eh. fuck lor. hais. i think i don't wanna shop online anymore. i don;t wanna say what happen. it might jeopardize their image. hahas.

and just now, i was sad. and so i bought stg. it makes me happy. and the sales assitant also very sweet and pretty. so i buy lor. somemore give 10% discount. so good. i like her very much. (=

ok.

xoxox

how cud she do this to me?

i went out with su today. i was fcuking shock la. i fear cockroach man. and wtf. my void deck was full of it. i was like terribly scared. i walked bloody slow. like shaking uh. and su said. takut jln cpat uh. hmm.. ? act macho or what. hahahs

then we ate at LJS. coz i am super hungry. after that we checked out the new shopping mall at bugis yaww. ILUMA. well, i guess. hmm.. nth much. & i tot the theatre is cathay. but it's i donno what. and i confidently said it;s cathay to su. when we reached there he turned to me.. and said,"eh, how to spell cathay?" haha. perangai.

then to Library. (= hehe.. our fave hangout place. i feel good coz i paid my fines and borrowed a book. aha. coz i am lending my ipod to su. coz my MP3 that he's using spoilt. boohoohoo.

k la. too much info uh.

got home. super happy. great day i had.but to found out that my clothes got moved to the other closet. like wtf sial. see uh.. what my mum did. i hate her. =(

sad or what?

hate her so much. wah. mcm budak kecik seh. hais

live forever

i miss su. i miss your warmth touches. oh man. the way you kiss me sway me like a flamingo. i feel pretty i feel secured protected. and that is what all girls wanna be. i am thankful i got that. hugs and kisses. you assured me with your words. pamper me like a princess. all i ever wanted was you. and i don't wanna die first. don't wanna see you suffer for me. you cute cute boy. laugh at all the lamest and corny jokes i had. why can't we stay together now. can life be that simpler as married stay together.?. all now need money. can we be like the kampong days. life are way simpler. well, we are simple people love. i love you so much.

please wake up
miss you bad

miss you

dedicated to suhairi.

anw, today at worked i somehow kinda felt frustrated and stress at the same time. hmm, i really hate serving cust now. hahas. and vince came today. he asked why you gg to quit. i will miss you. =P my answer was i don't like working with old man. hahas. i so honest or what. then he said nvrm i can trf you. who you wanna work with? wah.. i must be a good employee sia. hehe. but then too late uh. don't have passion alrd.

oh i was bloghopping just now. and i read this blog. i donno i just found her that annoying. haha. although i donno her. she kept complaining abt the BF. and it's all unreasonable. haiya. what to do?

xoxo

love you all

random hugs

yesterday while i was standing behind the counter. SY gave me a hug. and i was like eh, wtf? haha.. coz there were customers next to us. i prefered behind close doors SY. hehe.. & today she wtf me again..but i felt touched. she gave me a happy face cake. coz i was =(

but all wells, ends well.

i am (=. su just gave me a call.

& i am thinking of a blusher. dono why?

k la.
i am happily facebooking people. hehe.

lovelove

feel better

metric-raw sugar



what can i say? i love emily haines now. no brandon anymore. he hurt my feelings

nightmare - long post

today was fun. (= shi ying come i give you hugs. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo somehow i really feel guilty to resign. hmm.. k la. lets not think too much.

so, today i pang sai-ed shi ying again. i took my half day leave. just coz i don't feel like working. seriously. i wish there is like no 1 month notice or whatt. haiya. bynk leceh leh. so, i accompanied her to eat. went shopping at body shop. ahhaha. 2days in a row. i think i also wanna go again tmr. if i am feeling =( or stress. coz i am eyeing on the face mist which is only $10.90 now. wow ryte. it's having this mum's or labour day sale or stg i forgot. yea.. and went inside giordano 3times hah.. but ended up buying ntg.. coz the jeans cheated our feelings. does not look nice on us. sad huh. and to think to about it again. hmm.. i no need an extra grey jeans. -_-

msged with su.. was told that wan's mum is hospitalise.. so, just coz wan's mum is really nice to me when we visited her house last raya.. she told wan that i am sweet. hehe.. and thought that afiq was my BF not su.. coz we wore almost the same color. kpo or what he.then i said to him that i want to visit her. but i am wearing short.. that explain the 3times visit ti giordano to buy jeans. haha. yeah.. waited for su.. and he said, not today to visit.. coz got the family and all. hmm.. i hope she's ok. i bet she's strong. i love her

we bought our colors and check into a hotel. so much fun. happy with the result. and su cut my hair. haha (= thanks uh watched xmen - unedited. lousy la xmen. 2.5stars from me.

ate supper at prata house.. the usual.. cheese prata and shared prata bom with milo dinosaur. (=

i really don't wanna go home. coz i donno? the night is still young maybe? hehe. and we planned to watch 17again. but enden up watching horseman. su told me the sypnosis of it.. and i was like i think this gonna be fun than 17again lor.. i gave it 3.5 stars. and it's really nightmare and gore but not that gore. haha. just the image of it is scary. still in my head. i think i can't sleep today.=( so scared

k la.

hugs people

kiss too.