farewell

heheh. i met sery today to shop shop shop. kekeke. oh man. sery i should have buy sia the black shoe. =( geex. when aku gi suntec nye topshop tkde size aku. so sad babe. and imm sucks seh shopping mall die. i heard seme nye is a factory outlet. like WTF seh. hais. so regretting my decision to go there. hais. but lao aku tak gi IMM aku tak leh get promoted. stupid eh. k. thanks for accompanying me. hehehe. aku suke kau ckp aku jitak kau. so cute. ahhaha

anyway,
today is my last day at suntec hehe. i was in tears just now when they surrprise me with a gift. i so gonna miss them. hahas. serious shitt sia. thank you

and WTF cannot upload photos. =(

xoxo

hugs

i met su today.

he said he's sorry for not always fetching me always coz he was just plain lazy. it's strange that baru skrg he realise that. haha.play game only at home. i just got to laugh it off. what is there to say. hahas.

&& his hospital bed is really damn comfy..

anyway, thursday can meet him again. & tmr i am so gonna wake up early and go shopping.. (=

MCR concert

we went to their concert on Dec12 2007. it was afiq's bdae. we had so much fun. i miss su. i miss su so much. ='(

and this song




he said. the first time when we went out as a steady. hehe. he said he will sing me that song. if he want a break up. and one bloody night. he sang that to me. i was all in tears. like in a drama. hahah. i ran for a cab. but he screamed my name. like i care that time. yeah. we always reconcile after a bad bad argument. what do we always argue about? hmm.. eheh

anyway, just wanted to post this pic.

after the MCR concert. (=

=(

S:hehe. Ok. Good. If u cry i'll feel bad syg.
M:no. If you cry. i will feel useless.
S:Ya. So i wont cry k love.
M:Ok. Hugs

=( i feel like crying now. well, i am tearing up already. this. this is not for me. i feel so hurt. i feel so so .. i donno . i really miss you. can't wait to meet you again love. =(

good woman

i very much miss suhairi =(

werewolf

a song about father had sex with own daughter. how sad

oh my

my boyfriend sms-ed me. that MJ is dead coz of cancer. i was definately shocked upon that time. and giggled for abit. coz just that day. have you heard MJ singing malay song. singing praises to ALLAH. yeah. i really hate that song. and kept on critisizing the song. shafiqa really like it. and kept it on repeat. till i snapped at her. coz damn irritating. hahs. but now he's dead. so sad. but yeah. GOD BLESS HIM.RIP

& I AM REALLY HAPPY TODAY! =)

on my break time i saw Giordano having sales. then the big sign board says $10 but not obvious on the 2nd piece. hahaha. but i just try it. and i loove it. so i asked the sales assistant when is the sale gonna end. and she answered while stocks last. grr.. and i was haiya. so, i whined to my BF. hehe. and he readily transfered $50 to me. with the help from iza of coz. dammit happy (= i really loove the shorts. (= thanks loove

and when i got home. the long awaited jelly purple camera on my bed with my simple black dress. am so happy la. (=

so so gonna wear my shorts tmr.

xoxo

cold shudders.

hellos. hahas.

today is su's day. (= before that i went to AMK HUB to get him prata sausage. i worked at AMK Times Warehouse before. and su sometimes fetched me. and we would always lepaked with his friends and sometimes just walk ard AMK Hub and watched movie. so, the thing is.. as i was walking alone. i really miss holding his hand and all. in fact today is our 20th monthsary. =( well, i really miss him. hais i typed the msged i miss walking with you but i backspaced it scared it would hurt him. =(

it was DVD Marathon with him. really miss watching show with him. yea. his siblings came and all. hahas. but they just stayed for awhile. like pity them. just visit for awhile. anyways, we watched Hotel For Dogs. which is funny actually. after that he got to do his physio. and i watched Uninvited alone. damn merepek la that story. to the ending su came backed. hehes. so he really looked tired. pity him. we watched it together. hehe. so funny or what. he's damn scared la to watch. but seriously that movie is stupid. then we watched SAW V lagi merepek. hahas.

and i ate chicken chop for my dinner. sedaapp. i like it.

saturday i gonna meet him again. (= so happy. (=

xoxo

thanks faizah for the sandal. i acting only just now. hehe

you so fat

su called me. (=

yay. got to meet him tmr. yippee. feel like a kid again. we just missed alot of things. i guess with this accident he had. i think we learn alot of things. like who is the one that stick with you and all that.. and whose the one that visit just for the sake to visit. you know what i mean.

as for me? DUH!! i love him too much already. let bygones be bygones. he said he neglected me and all before this accident. but life have to move on. but sometimes i do bitch about neglecting part to my close friends. hehe. but we are good.

just that life is unfair to us. and we got to face it. we human can't change fate booboo. i wish i have super powers. hahs. kental

xoxo

true?

i am waiting for su's msg or phonecall right now. =(

the last msg was sape ckp? and i replied i cute princess. we were talking about cuteness. hahs.
he slept? without saying goodnight to me? uh.. sad. unbearable anymore. life's so unfair to us. why must it be this way? wish i could turn back the time if i have the power. wtf is this. wtf. fate is evil su said. fate is evil. he broke the promises. brokedown.. dammit.

these days weird things happen at night.
i wish if i say su msg me su call me su su su but su did not now. grr.
last 3days i suppose.. i donno how has this been happening. i will be suddenly awake and su will call me. it's 4am, 5am sometimes 6am. i picked it up. telepathy work wonders on us. hahs. i miss him. i miss him too much. =(

SORRY will be posting alot of depressing love notes. hahs.

lovelove su alot.

regret

today 23rd june is shi ying and my MOTHERs' bdae. hah. look what i did to shi ying. & cute elmo. (=

hehe. so cute

SURRPRISE. hehe

nice si

----

su was full of regrets just now.

regret working that night.
regret not gg out and walk walk with me.
regret regret regret regret

i really miss going out with him.
we feel so empty now. =(

xoxo

heghe

i have a reader from US. hehehehehehehehehehehheheheheheheheheh

i miss su so much. =(

stupid mistake

he:why you keep on breaking my heart?
she:you break my heart too. when you got into the accident.
both:hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe


after work today i went to visit suhairi. and he msged me that he's depressed and all. hais. and when i reached there. wah. really. the place is fucking depressing. i really feel sad for him. pity him very much. he really want to get out of there fast. very fast 2 weeks. and wanted the mother to take the caregiver course shits. but the mother insisted he to be there for a month. i was there with him. and was like speechless. well aku ni mmg. tak berbual dgn mak die. haha. pity him. =( seriously. =(

i donno what to say anymore
THAT HOSPITAL IS THE SHIT(BAD) MAN! =(

xoxo

stuck in my mind

i like this song

every minute every second

i miss su.

tmr is fathers' day. and i am going out with one tmr. hahahahs. kidding. (my own joke)

i am going to meet su. i can't stop thinking about him. like what is he doing? like wtf.. mesti uh.. just lay on the bed like nobody buisness. anyway, he so cute.. sing i want nobody nobody but you. kekeke..

ok la.

seriously bored without him. =(

& i think i want to start labelling my post. like hehhe.. so cool.

every post i did is all about su. so, i guess i should label his full name. hehe.. later he can become popular. & i can't believe that he told his sister he wanted to marry bcoz i got alot of CPF money. haha. i don't want marry you anymore. hahahaha

3more days to SY bdae.
5more days to 20monthsary. hahahas. tu pon nak bilang. so kental

xoxo

aching

i hate to see su doing his sad face. it's fcukin irritating. & my heart will be like hais. =( if i should leave him or what. i want to see his happy face. hahs. for i won;t feel any guilt carrying a heavy heart.

my hand is aching. guess i did alot of work today. hais. if su is here he will massage my hand. hahs.

glad he's getting better everyday.

& sery. there will always be next time. don't sad sad. learn from your mistakes babe., love you hugs.

xoxo

gundu

haiya. i donno what song is this playing on my blog. hahs. gundu or what. grr.. donno how to delete it even. hais. i can't stop thinking of su. sometimes i think i am a good psychic or what. su couldn't get to sleep last night. i remember i was dreaming about my hp rang and it was su talking to me. suddenly i was awake and su called me at 6am. terrible right. =( pity him. talk with him for awhile. sometimes i say.. i donno which is which. am i in reality now?

well this is fate.

pity you

su put me first before him.

i have been visiting him almost everyday. coz i really miss him. and i am scared he will miss me too. hehe. i asked him what do you miss most about me? and he answered hugs and kisses. .. ( am i only good at that?) ahhah. k whatever. the thing is.. he wanted me to go home. but i want to stay. and he said pity you have to go home alone in the MRT and all. tak senonoh srg2 in the train and bus at night. but it was only 10pm. hahas. and i was like.. ok. i go home. and he gave me $10 for my cab fare. he is so nice eventhough in the hospital. LONELY. =( i wish i am not working so i could stay like everynight. i wish.

and today i went shopping with SY. i bought stg. happy.

xoxo

strong baby

strange

grr.. i really miss su now. right now. =( oh well..

soon on friday CONFIRM i will get my hands on my 2nd Camera. kekeke. jelly jelly jelly

anyway, today is the beginning day of MANGO SALE. damn. i went in. like night market or what. zura snatched 3pieces of shirts. where else what about me? NOTHING. but the man is cute though. hehehe. yea. i was like walking alone inside MANGO on my lunch break. damn. i donno what to get. strange right? it's like i have no mood to shop anymore. i think suhairi is doing his don't shop magic on me. hahas. i miss going shopping and watching movie with him. i really do =(

xoxo

skinhead

hehee.
the surprise for me from su was actually his botak head. kekekek. so cute. will take photo of him soon. should have shoot him today but i guess i was staring at him in awe. hahah. i really love him. i guess you all should know already. he is very lucky. not to have me. but to survive the accident. he fractured like both of his hand. and broken his left pelvis bone. and left foot toes. and right knee or stg. lucky right? but now he still couldn't walk. it takes time syg. i am really proud of you that you can stand already. =)

and i just deleted a whole chunk of how he got this accident. ahahas. donno why.

xoxo

tired

i have been visiting every morning this time. haha. i am so tired and sleepy. =(
but i will still wake up early for him. for him i am EVEREADY for anything. heheh

xoxo

invincible

syg, we are invincible. =)

wah =D

today woke up early to visit su. (= well really happy for him. tears of happiness was out just now. he did it. he made alot of improvement. really happy. (= HUG.

and he said tmr morning he got a surrprise for me. what it is man?. hmm anyway just now it was super embarassing coz when i kissed him the mum came in. embarassing right? haha. dammit.

and i am the handicap bully. big bully. hahas.

hey love. hug

empty

how do you feel emptiness?

someone in love suffering and you can't do anything about it. and you miss everything. and all you want is him. him that you want the most. him that you longing to be with.

miss you syg

last year bdae post from SU

(my sweet sexy love, masturah.)
im so dead.

sorry mas. i really love you but i update your blog without your permission.

hello. my name is su. yea, im the guy that she's been talking abt on and on.. and if you have seen her recently, the guy that was holding her hands den slightly moves to the background coz u guys are talking and all.. yea thats me.

so, 13th june was my birthday. celebrated with my beloved childhood playmates.. and my future playmate, namely masturah.. hehehe.. we went to marina square.. then hanging out to our favourite hang out spot.. everything was ok.. quite fun.. had been a very long time not going out with the fellars.. there was a little drama though but not gonna talk abt it here.. stay cool man.
so, the plan was, me sending mas home.. take the last bus then hangout again with muthu, afiq and probably rizal and wan.. but i missed the last bus when i got to mas' place.. but to tell the truth, it wasnt all so unfortunate.. lets just say, that was one of those times where im pretty glad i couldnt go home and am ''stuck'' with mas.. hehe.. love you.. overnite at her place.. her parents were all cool with it.. and i was kinda uncomfortable in the foreign environment, so i asked mas to stay and probably sleep with me in the living room.. in other words, i was scared i would be up all night in the dark if i cant get to sleep.. hahaha..

so woke up arnd.. i really have forgotten eventhough it was just yesterday. and the best thing was, getting to see her beautiful face, which goes along with her just-out-of-the-bed hair was the first thing i opened my eyes and of course her sweet smile to greet me.. and not to forget her short-sharp cute rock voice., which im pretty sure if i remembered correctly, laughed at me. haha.. and it was also the first time i kissed my mum's hand.. i mean..ahem.. mas' mum's hand of course.. hehe.. eventhough we've met quite a number of times.. we hugged on the.. hmm it wasnt a sofa but its like a long chair with a backrest so its not a bench but its no a sofa coz there's no cushion and its all wooden.. so yea, that long i dont know what its called long chair. i think i got it in my living room though.. haha.. oh yea, we were hugging on that chair then her mum suddenly pop out then i kissed my mum's hand.. i mean mas' mum hands.. hahaha..

so i got tasted mas' lips. *hooray. early in the morning. we didnt got a chance to brush our teeth but we just start kissing.. i felt so... chinese. hahahahahah.. but seriously, i didnt mind at all.. it was quite good actually.. but i got confused when she stopped and said ''bau''. i didnt know whether she was asking me, or my mouth was smelly but all i know i nodded my head. then we stopped.. biggest mistake of my life.. ok maybe not the biggest but its quite big.. its not everyday i get to taste ''fresh'' lips. hehe..

ok. so my whole point of telling this long-winded story is that, when i was under her block walking to the bus stop, my eyes welled up in tears and just waiting for the force of gravity to make my tears rolled down my cheeks.. i realised how much i missed spending time with her like i used to.. not going hme at all.. breathing and sharing the cool morning breeze.. the moon is not seen anywhere, and the sun isnt up yet.. i think thats when masturah looks her best.. her make up would be gone, her hair would be not so flat.. and she would always cozying up with me.. and its not so bright and the lighting is perfect.. emphasize her fair skin beautifully.. and she's just this one big cute and sweet stuff thats just been squeezed into a beautiful, sexy body.

whatever it is, this entry is to show i ever loved a girl named masturah binte musrin deeply, sincerely.

oh love, my sweet sexy love named masturah, after reading this, please smile and tell me how you feel. love you.

yours forever,
su.
oxox

i cried =(

i got to go back early today. claim hour mah. and henry die die wanted me to go back at 12. but i mean.. like what. then i said 1 la. coz feel bad.

so, after work i walked to sim lim. i walked! found what i want. then walked to centrepoint. dropped by at gramophone at cathay to get GREEN DAY ALBUM.! woohoo. =) got a free poster eh. hahs. hmm.. curious eh. coz still got the SG IDOL SHIT. hahs. so funny. and i saw stupid accident in front of my eyes. but just heck. stupid driver la. whatever. reached centrepoint. bought the most expensive wrapping paper at TIMES. don't go TIMES to buy wrapping paper. wanna know how much? freakin $3.20. hahs.

reached coldwear centrepoint. zura said,"eh, srg aje?" that bitch. hahs.

but i feel happy to be with su today. and he said this birthday is the best. =) i love you syg. and from his bed could see my house. hehehehe. after the family & friends went home. it was only me & su. wah.. i donno. i couldn't control my tears in front of him no more. hahs. & i cried ='( saying how much i miss him and all. haiss. and he said everynight you are 1 that i miss so much. and i will always look there (pointing my house area). and i was like.. aww su. hais.

closed the curtain. felt so private. felt (at last) only me&su. how much i miss spending time with him. =( and he said with this accident he knew whose his friend and all. and know that i love him very much.

su, i miss you alot. i miss everything =(

last msg

you are the most precious in my heart



SU, love you alot =(

splurge.

who the hell splurge $140 on make ups? ANS:ME!

i wanted wanted only one coral eyeshadow. only 1! but the psycho seller really really is good. i was like what what what? but damn. it's a good deal i got. but WTH MASTURAH MUSRIN. WTH you need like alot of it. tsktsktsk and somemore she said your face oily. grrr.. i am really vulnerable person uh. hahahs.

and i don't my money can last till the end of the month. i so sad. =(

& i miss you su. =(

bismillah

well i went to my aunt's house first. hahas. SY next time kay. and i realised that i have a straight bus to WOODLANDS. heheh. best kan. slenge la aku ini.

anyway, my cousins are damn funny lar. i got to teach them today. hmm.. kids. super funny. can't stop laughing. the joke is. iman wanted to erase but your know.. color pencils real hard to erase right.. then the sister diyanah told her to say BISMILLAH and erase. hahahahah .. and iman seriuosly erase so hard and recited bismillah alot of times. i can't stop laughing. serious shitt. hahaha.

then got somemore. Diyanah. she want to keep my photo. and then i said for what. and she said so later at night can see my face. i donno la. they so manja with me. especially iman. and i forced them to make a get well soon card to su. hehehe. but they willingly did it. so cute la the kids. lovve them.

i went to Tampines 1 alone. went to the UNIQLO shop. but heck there were alot of people and have no mood to shop anyway. =( coz my mind was like cotton bud,fan & stress balls. so hard la to find stress balls and fan. haha. but novena square have it all. hehe. and the shocking thing is .. papaya out of stock. =( and saturday only can visit him coz i will be working. =( why got 3 sad faces huh? haha

and i can't wait to get my hands on my JELLY FILM CAMERA! =)

I LOVE SUHAIRI MANSOR. KISSKISSKISSKISSKISS

miss susu

today is a happy duper day. =)

shafiqa so cute. i cannot believe it. everytime i see her face feels like squishing her cheeks you know. that kind of grrr.. geram. cute nye.

after work settled my debt. and first time pay $100 for my bills. felt accomplished.
bought a dress for my cousin her birthday eh. so cute uh.

after that visit su. and i guess i have to face the damn reality that i am the girl FRIEND. i am a friend. but an intimate friend that is. i can't be there like almost everytime. hmm.. of coz i want to be there everyday la can. but sadly i am just a friend.

tmr plan is to visit su after hmm.. hopefully the parents left when i come. it's like i am a disturbance like that. haha. coz i am outside person you see. then to tamp. aunt's hse. and meet SY. (=

hais.
miss su
and i hate the people at the register counter. stupid know it all. donno how to go the extra mile for me. haha. see. SIAPA LA AKU INI.

BAD girlfriend

i feel so bad for not waiting for him. i feel so bad.

=(

mai said go la go accompany him till morning. grr.....

james morrison

this song make me miss suhairi.

miss su

i called su today. got to hear his voice. i called the emergency hotline no. without knowing. but luckily she is super kind. (= miss him. got to msg him also. but the cousin and sister type for him. hehe. i super miss him. what is he doing now? just lying on the bed? you know.. i watch this porn haha. stupid porn. not horny. japan porn or china i forgot. anyway, this guy was half paralyse and then the super sexy nurse give him a BJ. sial ajer. ok random.

xoxo

4am in the morning

belom tido lagi. suddenly thinking about SU. =( HAIS

chillax

that was what someone told me. su was so chillaxx about it. so, why must i be paranoid. but whatever it is. i hope he is dreaming of me now. i hope no complications. hope hope full of hope. i really want to tell him stg. i really do. but he's not awake yet. and i donno if i could get off early with my sad face. hah. but whatever it is love if you read this. i will always be there for you till the end. my IRONMAN

and i no have money. =( still no haf money.

xoxo

keep holding on LOVE SU

present

su's bdae is coming. and i know what exactly to buy for him. =D this is it.

ipod nano. in his fave color. that if people wanna share money with me. hehe. but no also i buy. INSYA'ALLAH. (=

and jason said. ALLAH will protect him. to think back it's funny the way he pronounce it.
well, suhairi.. please get well soon .. strong strong baby

positive

i was so damn depressed last 2days. 2009 have been really sucky to us. seriously, so sad. but anyway, today i feel much better. (= i cried as much as i could. at work. and even at public. ttm. but wth. i really am sad. kambing thank you for being there for me. now, i have to be positive. i know he will alright. i know it. thanks jason &zura. tkmo sakit hati lagi la zura. eheh. I AM FUCKING OKAY. =D

xoxoxo

i love you suhairi.

but it's a shock that i haven't cry in front of you. well, you really make me happy whenever i see your face. (= i love you very much.