private feelings

well i felt disconsolated everytime he said/did sad things towards me.

and now i am in a real great pressure. he wants me to be there when he got discharge. i don't really think i am close to his family. i am really bad at pleasing aunties and uncles. but he just don't understand. i sucks so much i hate it.

or i think i hate this like commitment or something that families have to be involve and all. maybe maybe in my heart i am just not ready. but i will always love him.

xoxo